I've Made My Decision

Well, it was not easy, not at all. I wrestled with God on this. But I just wrote the following in an email to my supervisors just a few minutes ago...

Well, it seems that the Lord prepared some devotional materials and prayer time just for me. I was kind of panicky about "giving up" another 9 months. But if that is where the Lord wants me I want to follow. At first, I wasn't trusting in the Lord that the timing was right. But He knows what's right so much more than I do. It feels like I am standing on the end of a high dive waiting to jump off. I am scared, but I want to do it. And I know all it takes is one step and then there is no turning back. After seriously considering going back home for good and not extending, I realized that I didn't feel good about doing that either. That told me that I was just scared and not trusting in the Lord the way I should. I was sitting in my English class yesterday and realized just how much I love what I do and I love having an impact in people's lives. This has been the hardest 2 years but it has been worth it. I know that God wanted me here. It is kind of emotional leaving even though I am ready. I still don't know if God is calling me to career missions but I will do this next step. I think I kept telling God I would give Him 2 years. Then I could feel good, like my commitment was complete. But now that my 2 years is over He is telling me that that's not enough. He wants everyday of my life for the rest of my life. I can count the sacrifice but then I have to move on and do what He has called me to. So even though I don't know hardly anything more than I knew 2 months ago I'll go, I'm ready. And once I make a decision I follow through. Don't worry about that.

So, that's it, as long as they don't change their minds and decide that they don't need me it looks like I will be headed to the island of Trinidad very soon. Like I said, I am scared. And I have been counting the costs but I tried and couldn't say "no". I was really ready to go home. I miss my Kentucky. I could hardly wait for fall. I was so excited about getting some cool weather and watching the leaves change. And I have been looking forward to visiting all my friends for months, especially all my friends that have gotten married since the last time I saw them! I was looking forward to being back in my churches in the states, both Upton and my college church. I was looking forward to getting back in school so I could get my ag ed degree. And I was looking forward to spending the holidays with my family. I'll get a little time at home but I'm not sure when and it'll be rushed. I'll be busy every moment trying to visit everyone and get everything done. I hope that I have your support in this decision. I do love the states and the people there, I promise! I am not rejecting that but just trying to follow the Lord.

Please be praying for me. Pray that:
1) The Lord would restore my health and energy. Heat, stress and germs have been hitting my immune system hard lately. If I am going to keep working like this I need to get over all this.
2) Pray that the Lord would be a fountain of peace for me. I am sad about not being home but I need to trust that the Lord is at work and His plans for me are always better for me than my own. He loves me and He wants what's best for me.
3) Pray for all the groups and individuals God is going to call out to work with us at this match. Pray that God would be in the details and they would be faithful in responding to His call.
4) Pray for a heart that is burdened and saddened by all the lost around us. Pray this for me, yourselves, those coming and those already there.
5) Pray God is preparing hearts already to respond to Him when they come to the West Indies.
6) Pray that God would orchestrate the details of my service as only He can. As we think about timing, housing, packing, responsibilities, etc. may we follow God's will.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love each and every one of you and am grateful for your support. Please feel free to send me a note saying you are with me in this endeavor. It isn't me alone that goes. I couldn't do this without the support of prayer and encouragement.